FIGHTING AGAINST THE CURRENT

READ ON EHEADS FOLLOWERS.. GOT THIS ARTIK FROM PEP.

After weeks of speculation, it was finally confirmed that the legendary OPM rock band the Eraserheads will reunite for a one-night concert to be held at the CCP Open Grounds on August 30, 2008.

The band, composed of Ely Buendia, Buddy Zabala, Marcus Adoro, and Raimund Marasigan, were highly responsible for the resurgence of Pinoy rock music in the ’90s. Armed with catchy hooks, street-smart lyrics, and uncanny pop sensibilities, the Eraserheads rose to critical and commercial prominence and was dubbed as the country’s own version of The Beatles—a tag the quartet simultaneously scoffed at and cherished during their phenomenal reign.

Strained relationship among the band members unfortunately led the group to disband following frontman Ely Buendia’s departure in 2002. Ely’s resignation was relayed through his bandmates only through a text message citing the words, "It’s graduation time."

LONG AND WINDING ROAD. Years after the band called it quits, the Eraserheads legacy grew exponentially with various tributes and accolades being accorded to the group through various art and pop culture media. At the same time, fans clamor for the band members to reunite grew steadily particularly after Ely survived a heart attack early last year.

Still, and despite all the noise created by old and new fans, the reality of a reunion was still remote. Even Buendia’s near brush with mortality seem to do nothing to soften the singer-songwriter’s firm resolve.

Some clues, however, seem to suggest that a reunion may finally happen earlier than expected. Last year, July 26, a special event dubbed as Eraser X was held at Saguijo Café in Makati featuring Raimund Marasigan and Buddy Zabala complemented by fellow musician friends playing an all Eraserheads set list.

A few months earlier, Raimund and Buddy together with former guitarist Marcus Adoro graced the book launching of Tikman ang Langit: An Anthology on the Eraserheads at Powerbooks in Greenbelt, Makati City. Ely opted to skip both events citing prior commitments as the culprit for his absences. Many, of course, believed that the enigmatic frontman was simply making an excuse so as not to offend the fans who were anxiously hoping for a reunion through any means possible.

Interestingly, Marcus, backed up by a band he wittingly named Markus Highway came out with an album under Warner Music Philippines. In an interview with PEP (Philippine Entertainment Portal) months before the launching of his new record, Marcus shared his desire to play or at least tour with his former bandmates new bands. He also said that his relationship with the three ex-members was okay and amicable.

But still, the big difference remains to be Ely Buendia. As evasive as he is when it comes to answering nagging questions about his glorious past as the main creative force of the "most influential" OPM band of all time, many observers took note that Buendia’s current band, Pupil, was incorporating Eraserheads songs quite more frequently this year as compared to last year. There was even this rumor saying that Ely conducted a "secret gig" somewhere where he did a straight-out all Eraserheads number. The rumor was neither conformed nor denied by Ely’s camp.

FORMING THE PUZZLE. For some time, cyberspace was inundated with news of an Eraserheads reunion. Recently, a blog site gradually showed sketchy little clues until it finally led to an inverted capital "E" image with the script "83008" written under the image. The figures, as it turned out, means August 30, 2008—the official date of the Eraserheads reunion concert after six years of not playing music together.

According to the reports, the four were swayed to once again play together after a "big company" tendered a huge offer. "Each member is said to be receiving a rather large sum—with estimates ranging from P2.5 million to P10 million apiece—in order to pull together for a 45 minute set," wrote music insider Jim Ayson at PhilMusic.com.

Last Friday, July 11, during the launching of Pedicab’s second record at the Cubao Expo, words were flying that the company sponsoring the historic event is a "telecommunications" company. However, it was later revealed that a tobacco company—"quite possibly Marlboro," wrote Jim—was the brain behind the concert.

NOT REUNITING FOR GOOD. In a telephone interview with someone from Ely’s camp, a source did mention that huge money was indeed involved though she downplayed the amount given by some of PEP’s initial sources.

According to our source, the band, Ely in particular, relented because of the undying clamor pressed by the fans and not largely because of the money.

"Maybe it’s a good way to finally close the chapter," our source, who requested anonymity, shared.

"The call for a reunion concert has been going on for a long time ever since they [Eraserheads] disbanded. Somehow this is bound to happen; it’s just a matter kung kailan and who’s going to sponsor. This is for all the fans and to celebrate na din the E-heads legacy. It’ll be exciting and we’re hoping that everybody would have a great time during the concert. Mas maganda nga sana kung nandoon lahat ng involved sa history ng band like the former managers."

Our source though stressed that the band won’t re-form and that the concert is strictly a one day affair. Asked about the band members current relationship, she said that it is still the same although, "We’ll see as this thing go along. I’m not really sure about Ely’s feelings at this point. But his relationship with the two [Buddy and Marcus] was okay naman even before the reunion talks."

Again, we excitedly asked the possibility of the band reuniting for good. Perhaps the concert may finally lead the members to iron out their differences for good after seeing the amount of love and adulation they still enjoy from fans and fellow artists.

Pausing a little, our source heaved a sigh before saying, "I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t think that hugs and kisses would be exchanged during and after the concert. But still, who knows… at this point everything is still pretty much up in the air."

******PRAYING AND HOPING THAT I’LL BE GETTING A BACKSTAGE PASS FOR THIS SUPAH ONE TIME BIG TIME EVENT. ASA NA LANG AKO SA POWERS NG KAPATID KO. YIPEE YEY!! SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN MY LITTLE FUCKED UP WORLD.

July 16, 2008.

I had the longest Makati-Ortigas trip I ever had. And the walk back home was just as agonizing. I was even hoping that it would rain while I am having that walk so as to feel a bit of comfort. I’ve been controlling those tears that have been welling from my eyes since 17:30 of that day. I couldn’t cry as much. It seems quite inappropriate to just breakdown right then and there, infront of people who wouldn’t have the glimpse of a hint of what makes you react that way. I have a hell lot of things to say but saying it out loud wouldn’t change a thing. As if it would even matter. I would have run away to the nearest bar or alcohol kiosk, if only I was in school, risk getting caught, only to give myself that bit of consolation and comfort.

I would have gone crazy or say something that is so out of line if it weren’t for Farrah and most especially Wise being physically there for me. (Wise!! I feel for you and you feel for me!! Hahahah! Dead Man Walking!ü) I’m so basag to the core. It never dawned to me it could be this.. errr… painful. Yes, it is. It’s more than the separation anxiety. I’ve been trying to weather different kinds with different levels of separation for different people in my life for the past weeks. And this one really hit me big time. And me blogging about this, I can still feel that distinguishing, striking pain. Crushing kind of pain, hitting 8 on that pain scale.

It was our last day of work for the week and we were supposed to gather up and enjoy the remaining days left. They did. I left. I couldn’t find the energy to just have fun and take things as it is. I know that we all have to move on, learn to let go and start anew. A lot of things have been left unsaid well at least on my end. And with things ending like this won’t give me all the more guts to eventually spill it out. The indifferent side of me is starting to lurk up somewhere. Detachment is there wanting to protect myself. I want to shut it all off. I want no more memories that would only hurt when I look back. It will prolly bring a silly grin on my face but I know it will hurt me just more. It’s all or nothing. Take it or leave it.

I cried myself to sleep on that night of July 16. Just to let it all out. I couldn’t quite explain why. Sure I am not bordering on something else, am I? (My 49′ers!! I need you now!!! Kindly help me shake this off will ya!!) It’s been 18 long months and all has come to an end.

Listening to Hands Down will never be the same again.

I will be putting on that mask for the next coming days till the judgement day. The undaunted, unaffected, indifferent me.

Only if you knew…

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY (090106)

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with… And the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter whom you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentially become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens, you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest stars of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it will work because you’re ready. It will work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it will make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?"  You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That’s what the one that got away is the biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who is already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different.  What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple. Find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him/her out to coffee, ask him/her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be the "one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away".

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it will all just fall into place somehow and you know.

I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away".

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As I am reading this article, I have only one person in mind. Kitt Donato. Yea, she is “the one that got away” for me. Looking back February 2001, our moment together was almost perfect. We’re real good friends to begin with. We’ve seen each other in a commitment but we still loved each other despite our shortcomings. We perfectly know how to cheer each other up during tough times. Kitt was never really hard to please. She’d appreciate the littlest of thing you’re doing for her. You’d be amazed how she’d stay all charming & cheerful even when school work is piling up. Her being so fun-loving never ceases to make me smile. Contagious sobra especially when I’m in a bad mood. Kulitin lang ako ni Kitt, I’d end up feeling better talaga. It felt oh so right and we’d just enjoy being with each other though nothing’s formal yet. We’d just let everything hang and we didn’t care what others think of us as long as we’re happy together. That went on for a while until things went complicated because I got all worked up with other relationships. My senior life was a mess, commitment issues to be exact. I believe that Kitt and I has this certain kind of connection unlike all others. It came to a point wherein I am so decided to just make it formal for both of us eventhough its almost March already and we’ll be graduating very soon; eventhough I still have other things to settle with other people. The heck! I just didn’t give a damn anymore as long as I’ve settled everything with her. I remember asking her but she couldn’t believe that I was doing it for real. I was losing time already and the graduation issue was another thing that got me all caught up with. With nothing resolved, things just drifted for us. We didn’t even had the time to talk about us. When we were in college, I was planning to go see her but I couldn’t actually do it because I am seeing someone at that time. And it went on for years and sadly, up to this moment, we still didn’t get the chance to talk about what happened to us. Haha, yea I am hell guilty when I think about it! I know its about 6 years too late but I know there are things that are worth the wait. I bet, she’s busy with her flying career now. We rarely text each other unlike before. Even when I’d organize class reunions, she never came, not even once. Oh well.. Kitt’s like a space-occupying lesion. She left me a mark that I’ll definitely remember forever.

Haha. I miss you so much! May utang pa ko sa ‘yo na Ferrero, remember? When I leave Pinas, I’ll book my flight in one of your

US

trip. Hopefully by that time, you’re going on international flights na rin. You’ll be my personal flight attendantü I’ll prolly organize an event for iv3 later this year. I’m really hoping to see you thereü

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I WAS EXCEPTIONALLY SAD YESTERDAY. THE KIND OF SADNESS THAT IS NOT SELF-INFLICTED NOR THE KIND THAT IS INEVITABLE. I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING. MORESO, THE FEELING SHOOK ME SO BAD, I HAD AN EL GRANDE ME TIME (WHICH I TRADED MY EMBA NIGHT FOR).

I HAD TO REPOST THAT BLOG ENTRY I WROTE ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO TO BE THE BENCHMARK OF THIS ENTRY. YES, I’M BLOGGING THIS STORY. TSKTSK.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY FOR ME. MY SPACE OCCUPYING LESION.

WELL, YESTERDAY.. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED..

PAUL (6/13/2008 11:58:50 AM): HEY KITT
kitt (6/13/2008 11:59:08 AM): halo halo
kitt (6/13/2008 11:59:23 AM): where was that pic taken?
kitt (6/13/2008 11:59:30 AM): sexy eh haha
PAUL (6/13/2008 11:59:33 AM): WHICH PIC?
PAUL (6/13/2008 11:59:39 AM): AHHHH.
PAUL (6/13/2008 11:59:45 AM): ISLAND COVE.
PAUL (6/13/2008 11:59:51 AM): LAST WEEK I THINK.
PAUL (6/13/2008 11:59:59 AM): COMPANY OUTING
kitt (6/13/2008 12:00:00 PM): gosh i’m so lost.. san yun? haha
kitt (6/13/2008 12:00:14 PM): by the by where do u work na ba now?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:00:19 PM): CAVITE.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:00:24 PM): ganda?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:00:25 PM): I’M WITH CONVERGYS
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:00:28 PM): STEADY.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:00:49 PM): i’m so itching for a beach trip
kitt (6/13/2008 12:01:04 PM): wow u been wth convergys eversince?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:01:28 PM): YEP.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:01:39 PM): 1 YEAR AND 6 MOS I THINK.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:01:43 PM): ONGA EH.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:01:54 PM): SARAP NOH?? BEACH BEACH BEACH!!
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:02:07 PM): YOU MARRIED NA?
kitt (6/13/2008 12:02:14 PM): did u make ur "status" yourself? still serious i see
kitt (6/13/2008 12:02:38 PM): y u askin?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:02:43 PM): WALA LANG.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:03:10 PM): JUST A HUNCH.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:03:39 PM): hahaha u wanna try reading my palm too? ur pretty good.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:03:57 PM): i’ve a 8-mo old boy too
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:03:59 PM): I DUNNO HOW TO READ PALM KITT
kitt (6/13/2008 12:04:10 PM): tarot? hee
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:04:17 PM): OH REALLY??
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:04:25 PM): HEY CONGRATS KITT
kitt (6/13/2008 12:04:30 PM): ya thanks
kitt (6/13/2008 12:05:34 PM): wedding felt incomplete tho cos i dint get to invite all my friends. i was so paranoid cos i was already pregnant then
kitt (6/13/2008 12:06:16 PM): sorry paul, wish you were there among others
kitt (6/13/2008 12:06:22 PM): how u been?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:06:31 PM): ITS OKAY KITT.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:06:36 PM): I’M HAPPY FOR YOU.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:07:06 PM): are u ok? how are u huh?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:07:19 PM): PRETTY GOOD
kitt (6/13/2008 12:07:59 PM): ur mad at me
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:08:30 PM): HEY NO
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:08:40 PM): WHY SHOULD I?
kitt (6/13/2008 12:09:19 PM): i dont know. i’m getting a weird vibe
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:09:33 PM): HEY ITS OKAY.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:09:35 PM): u at work now?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:09:41 PM): I’M HAPPY FOR YOU REALLY
kitt (6/13/2008 12:09:54 PM): hmm..
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:09:55 PM): HOME.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:10:01 PM): I’M ON LEAVE.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:10:07 PM): JUST FOR TODAY.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:10:31 PM): oh.. like an emergency leave or sick leave? y? wat up?
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:10:44 PM): VL.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:10:53 PM): for 1 day??
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:10:57 PM): YEP.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:11:40 PM): HEY, I’LL HIT THE SHOWER MUNA.
PAUL (6/13/2008 12:11:43 PM): BRB.
kitt (6/13/2008 12:23:06 PM): hey i gotta go na din. really hope you don’t feel ill or anything towards me, ur good. really feel uber guilty.. hay. was nice chatting with u tho even for just a bit. u take care paul. God bless and be with you always.
PAUL (6/13/2008 1:39:53 PM): YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY KITT. WE’RE COOL  TAKE CARE AS WELL AND ALWAYS BE HAPPY.

TO CUT THE STORY SHORT, WHEN I READ ABOUT IT, IT FELT AS THOUGH MY STOMACH HAD SUNK THROUGH THE COMPUTER CHAIR (DE JA VU TO THE CORE!!). I WAS AWARE THAT I WAS HURTING RIGHT THEN AND THERE BUT WHAT MADE THE SITUATION MORE CONFUSING WAS THE QUESTIONING THAT WAS HAPPENING IN MY HEAD. I KNOW I SHOULDN’T BE FEELING THAT WAY ANYMORE. I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER. HONESTLY SPEAKING, IT TOOK ME PAINFUL MINUTES TO TAKE IN WHAT I HAVE JUST READ. INSIDES ARE GLACIAL. AND I WAS CRYING FOR PETE’S SAKE! FYI: I HAD THE GUTS TO DENY THAT DURING THE YM CONVO. WHEN IN FACT, I CAN STILL FEEL THE CONNECTION ON HOW KITT CAN READ MY MOODS SO WELL.

SO THE REST IS HISTORY. I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO TO COMFORT MYSELF YESTERDAY TILL THIS MORNING. I’M FEELING A BIT BETTER NOW. THE AFTERMATH? I AM ON SICK LEAVE TODAY.